being alone among the crowds.

have there ever been moments when you were afraid to tell even the closest one? have you ever had moments when you thought they wouldn't understand you and gave up? my problems that I had to deal with were growing like a mountain. it was one, it is two, even three now, it was branching out more and more. i can't distinguish which one is real in my life or, at best, closest to the truth. I really need even the closest possibility to reality right now. need a truth that will really do me good with no doubt accurate feelings, rather than being upset for the excitement of possibilities. there is a seesaw, and only one person can sit opposite you. you can decide who will take you to the sky. but don't forget that with a single movement of that person, there is a possibility that you will also crash to the ground. you can achieve this balance only with harmony between you. so, how easy is it to decide who you want to sit there with now?

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of... We know the truth not only by the reason but by the heart."

sense of belonging.

how many people can one person love? how many people can belong to one heart? is it easy to describe exactly what you are feeling? is this a whim or a true love? and where does falling in love stand in this story? you can run away from everyone and everything, maybe one day, but it's challenging for you not to be able to run away from yourself. when i want not to be unfair to anyone, i blame myself, "my heart". what i am feeling right now is longing for my old thrills or some heartbeat that i never had in my time. how fair is it to blame them because those things that make me feel good are coming into my life right now? sometimes i think, is he there because he's supposed to be the person who's been in my life all these years, or is he there because i still care about him in my life? at these moments, i parallel myself to a dried-up leaf. i lost my route. i am being blown in another direction with every wind that blows. where was i, where am i? in fact, the most important issue is where is my home? i'm so tired of being outside anymore. 

most of the time, i wanna watch the white wall.

a normal person's working hours are obvious but this does not apply to people who are overthinkers. when your body is on the go during the day, your mind continue to knock you out on the other side. you will show if you are strong enough to deal with its every single day. but are you ready to watch your emotions fight with your thoughts while you do this? most of the time this will not a fair race. because i know that my feelings will guide my thougths and even will manage. how can i interpret many thoughts that will refute it after two hours, when i have convinced myself by presenting various supporting elements to an argument in my brain? or how can i feel completely opposite things after a few hours when my feelings for someone are clear and certain? is it means that my thoughts are a struggle between each other? in that case, you are not the same as you were two hours ago. the balance has changed. how are you going to talk this problem to which friend you can't even explain it to yourself? nothing can be as normal as the reflection of this on you as an "overthinker" typical. you just have to try to learn to be able to control it. for yourself. for your mental health. 

about uncertainty.

i keep telling uncertainty. because there is nothing else powerful enough to devour a person. it always prompts to you think, it is almost like a captivity that your mind puts you through. will it make you happy to know or are your scenarios that you think are true or want to believe? do you want to hear facts that will hurt you or do you want to continue living in a giant dream world? what exactly do you need? staying on this debate with yourself will make you more tired, will wear you out and you will continue to wake up to a gray sky every day. how long can you continue to be optimistic for those who withhold you from sunny days? now, it is time to hit the road. remember that you can take the road not with convinced people, but with believers. be brave.